Dear VANOC Ceremonies Selection Team:

Okay, I know today you said don’t-call-us-we’ll-call-you, but I thought it couldn’t hurt my odds to make a heartfelt case that you would be remiss not to include me in your casting for the Opening and/or Closing Ceremonies at the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver and Whistler.

I had a hell of a lot of fun at the audition today, and I’m grateful that despite my putting my two left feet forward about 50 per cent of the time, I still left feeling like–gosh, dare I say it–a winner. You guys clearly have a lot of experience in showing people a good time before letting them down gently. I was impressed with the process. If you could harness the energy and goodwill in that gym and sell it, you’d never have to produce another Olympics ceremony in your lives!

I stomped and smiled and play-acted and sweated and now I will wait for September for the verdict. But meanwhile, please consider these five reasons why I deserve the gig:

1. I will be 50 in February 2010. I deserve a good birthday party.

2. I will be 50 in Februrary 2010. I was 25 when I started working for the Canada Pavilion at Expo 86–Vancouver’s first time in the world spotlight. I shook Princess Diana’s hand. (Well, not really. I was close enough to have shaken it though.) There’s something nicely symmetrical about this.

3. I will be 50 in February 2010. I am old enough to have grown children. When I got home tonight my 18-year-old son said to his dad, “Wouldn’t it be cool to see mom on TV at the Olympics?” It would be nice to impress my son. It doesn’t happen so much these days, you know?

4. I will be 50 in Feburary 2010. C’mon admit it: I kept up pretty good with the young ‘uns today. You should reward me for that.

5. I will be 50 in February 2010.  This could be my last chance for this sort of deal. How could you live with the knowledge that I died prematurely never having realized my dream to perform in an Olympics ceremony? (Well, it’s only been a dream since about this morning, but still…)

It was a really great day. I sure hope you pick me. And if you don’t: well, my friend has been bugging me to go to Mexico in Feburary 2010 anyway…

Sincerely,

Julie Ovenell-Carter

Update October 1, 2009:

I. Was. Rejected.

Well, they didn’t put it like that. What they actually said was:

“Unfortunately, we simply do not have enough positions for everyone wishing to participate and we will not be able to include you as part of the performance team. However, we thank you very much for your time, enthusiasm and your Olympic Spirit.”

I drank a bottle of wine, stuck pins in a Quatchi stuffy and today feel considerably relieved that I do not, in fact, have to commit 10 hours a week until February to evening and weekend rehearsals…